Seriously.

Today the federal government threatened to shut itself down because they two parties couldn't come to an agreement.  The soldiers were not to be paid.  Are you freaking kidding me?  I believe this is a continuation of a bigger problem that's like an elephant in the living room.  I believe our current president isn't from, for, or about our country.  I believe his religious views and lack of military experience are causing this country to spiral into depths we've only begun to imagine.

What I wonder also is:  Am I the only one that feels this?  Like we have a wolf in sheeps clothing leading us to a slaughter? 

Life is becoming more and more precious as the sand keeps slipping away.  It's totally too short to be unhappy.  As the song says "the changes, they are a coming", and "the answers are blowing in the wind".  I'd just like to fly free for a while....blow on the wind.

I've been thinking...

That we could work it out.  Sara Evans just sang a song about letting go.  I have to let go.  I want to do it with as much grace as possible, so praying for grace would be a good start.  I'm not sure that I do anything helpful these days with regards to my children.  NEVER have I had such moments of self doubt as I do now.  I know the difference between right and wrong, where my kids are concerned I am such a hypocrite.  They do things that are wrong, and I'm afraid to let them fall, mostly because the fall is so hard, and the hole so deep.

 "My family experienced the trauma, drama, decline of what is good, and general malaise, that addiction brings."  D. Krochta (The Addict's Mom)

It seems that lessons learned by one generation continue to elude the generations of today.  They make the same mistakes, fall harder and faster, than the generation before. So I'm done thinking that we can work it out.  I just have to let them work it out.  Hold my breath while they dive into the big, black, hole.

Friday nights all right for fighting, let a little action in!

As of today, I am returning to college on Monday, April 4th, 2011.  I think it's cool!  I don't think I can make it up cardiac lane without hurting myself!  I remember when I was in shape. When I never questioned falling.  I'm falling right into this return to school.  I now have a purpose and a goal.  They don't revolve around kids, husband or dog.  I'm doing this for me.  Screw guilt.  Yes, easy words to say, and rather vulgar, however; if I don't make "Screw Guilt" my motto, I cannot move forward in this life...I will continue to put everyone else first and build resentment after resentment.  I am going to try and leave clear directions with my expectations each day.  I want my organized, planned life back.

I married, I took vows, and it's time that a partnership occured on more than just paper.  THAT challenge is going to take more time than I probably have.  A couple married 40 years told me today that she STILL has to remind her husband, every day, that a fire would be nice.  I think her husband knows, he just wants to be told.  I think mine is the same..only so much of his motivation disappears with computer zoning.  No other word for it.  Wish me luck, the way things are going, Monday just might be my lucky day!!  :o)